


Not for Granted, Not Forgotten

by TamerLorika



Series: We [1]
Category: Dragons: Riders of Berk (Cartoon), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Bestiality, Canonical Character Death, Established Relationship, Interspecies, Life-Affirming Sex, M/M, Mourning, Post-Movie(s), biological interestingness, dragons cannot cry, holy shit i need to go to bed, still no archive warnings for this, that's all ive got
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 14:06:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5873323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TamerLorika/pseuds/TamerLorika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiccup mourned the Chief but he has not yet mourned his father. The Dragon Alpha saved him, but his partner is nowhere to be found. Shedding their new titles is not easy, and it's so hard to comfort Toothless when he is coming apart himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not for Granted, Not Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> You really need to read the tags. 
> 
> Sequel to "Idiomatic". Can be read in any order.
> 
> Note on Draconic/Dragonese: Toothless word for "self" or "I" in Dragonese is only ever used to refer to him and Hiccup together, and Hiccup translates it as "we" in Norse.
> 
> Anyone reading this is my favorite kind of person. Come chat.

                The first few hours passed in a second, like a dragon’s flame incinerating bone. Berk was no stranger to the grit and constancy of rebuilding after an enemy attack. These steps, Hiccup knew—triage, fire-fighting. Food, shelter, clean water if the wells had been damaged. Every task was as familiar to him as the routine of oiling his axe, or cleaning his teeth.

This time, though, Hiccup moved with a constant ache behind his eyes and in his jaw. It was a persistent wrongness that he tried to tamp down and set aside.

The difference was—as he finally could ignore no longer, hours later, as the sun set on the stocky limbs of Berk—that he was being _watched_.

“Is there something in my teeth?” he snarked at Astrid as she passed, hammer in hand and nails in a box in Stormfly’s mouth.

The look he got was wide-eyed shock, then, quickly, something too close to pity to be alright. He was about to open his mouth when he realized where her gaze had flown to.

Oh. His forehead.

With unsteady fingers, he reached to rub at the ash that marked him, or what was left after the strange shortness of an interminable day.

Looking around, he observed Berk herself as if for the first time in hours. In the moment, his focus had been single-minded. He moved between fires, damage, emergencies efficiently and cleanly. Now, however, he surveyed it in its entirety—the slow-melting ice, the buildings that were damaged but still standing, the incredible herd of wild dragons. Berk was, however, also becoming empty of both dragons and humans. Even the most hardy of the clean-up crews were thinning fast. They were leaving to return to their beds, to go _home_.

“You should go home as well,” Hiccup told Astrid with as much casual friendliness as he could muster. He wasn’t sure how convincing it was. “I’m sure your parents would appreciate you being under their roof fort the night, after all this.”

Oh, no, it hadn’t worked, because Astrid’s answering smile was just as forced as his was. Her eyes flicked, just for a moment, to her parent’s house, but she feigned indifference. “Valka mentioned she would be sleeping by the ocean with Cloudjumper. I sort of liked the idea of sleeping outside, too—maybe in the Academy. I think Ruff and Tuff, and Fishlegs and Snotlout all would—“

“Astrid,” Hiccup cut her off. He remembered what the Academy had done for her, when her parents’ house got destroyed a few years ago. “Thank you, but you should go home.”

Astrid’s smile dropped into a soft scowl of determination. “Come with me, then,” she told him.

“No, Astrid, I’m going home, too.” They both knew that was a lie. Hiccup could not return to the cold house that his grandfather had built—not tonight, with the obvious absence of floor-shaking snores and the heart of the house, the heart of the _village_ , still gaping its absence.

“Or find my mom,” Hiccup conceded. This appeased Astrid a bit more. In just a few hours, Astrid had fallen deeply in love with Hiccup’s wild mother, watching her with a hero-worship she usually only reserved for Stoick in _certain_ moods. Astrid turned away reluctantly, whistling Stormfly to follow and walking with a hand on the Nadder’s thigh. Stormfly nuzzled her nervously every few steps. It had been such a desperately hard day for the dragon and rider pairs. They, too, needed time to reconnect.

_Toothless._

Hiccup’s skull throbbed harder than it had all day. It wasn’t just the staring that was putting him on edge, he realized. He hadn’t seen Toothless for hours. Suddenly, Hiccup needed to see Toothless more than he needed any other thing in the world. It wouldn’t be _okay_ until he could see Toothless again. It might not be okay then, either, but at least they would be together

Hiccup didn’t know where to start looking. He began walking out of the village anyway. Toothless couldn’t have, wouldn’t have gone far from his new flock. Somewhere out of the way but with a discrete sightline to the new dragon camp, where many of the Bewilderbeast’s subjects had bedded down near the cold surf until better plans could be made.

Hiccup knew, suddenly, exactly where that might be, even if he wasn’t sure yet _why_ Toothless had left him—or how Hiccup had not noticed.

Hiccup found him on the headland, a dramatic cliff overlooking the beach. One could see for miles from the grassy tor, but were mostly invisible from the beach. Hiccup spotted his dragon there at the edge and paused in his stride, feeling more acutely than any point in the entire past two days like his heart was breaking

Toothless stood in profile to the setting sun, wings outstretched, body taut and trembling. The dragon’s head was deeply bowed, his claws ripping powerful, deep furrows out of the earth. As Hiccup watched, the dragon reared his head back and opened his mouth in a silent roar. Toothless was _grieving_ , alone in the wind and the cold sunset.

Hiccup never once thought to leave Toothless to his private sorrow. That was not who they _were_. Instead, he barreled across the open ground between them, stopping himself just before throwin his arms around his partner’s neck. He couldn’t stop himself, however, from reaching one shaking hand for Toothless’ face.

He was surprised when Toothless whipped his head away, thrumming a deep, harsh word. _Must-not_.

“Toothless—“

 _Toothless must-not_ , the dragon repeated. _Hiccup must-not see_. His face twisted, nostrils flaring. _Toothless selfish_.

Toothless’ glance strayed to the cliff and Hiccup had never seen in his partner so powerful a yearning to fly off alone. Toothless wanted to run and be away for Hiccup. The dragon turned his face away again but Hiccup grabbed his jaw with both hands like he did when they played and wrenched it to face him once more.

“Toothless, you’re allowed to—to—“ Hiccup’s found his voice choking his throat unexpectedly. He was so close to finally being able to have his moment to let it out, but he could no more do it alone than he could fly, not without his partner. “ _Thor’s hammer_ ,” Hiccup whispered, dashing away moisture from his eyes so he could _focus_ , “Toothless, you’re allowed to grieve.”

 _No_ , Toothless negated softly, mournfully. _Toothless grateful._ He hissed violently, lashing his tail, claws kneading the torn ground. _It was not Hiccup. Toothless first grateful it was not Hiccup_. _Would-have killed Hiccup._

Hiccup shook his head fiercely. “No. Not you. You would never—“

 _Toothless did!_ The dragon roared, headbutting Hiccup onto the ground, standing over him, his back-spikes stiff and posture wicked. _Toothless fired. And-and_ , He clicked the “also” noise. _And happy. Did not kill Hiccup. And-so_. A sound that meant conclusion. _Must-not grieve._ He pulled back, eyes not meeting Hiccup’s anymore, his body posture that of abject shame.

Hiccup couldn’t stand it. He wanted so badly to be strong, to fix this last one thing, the most important thing. This sadness was the only thing in the disaster that he _chose_ to claim as his, and he tried to be strong enough to do for his friend what Toothless needed from him. He had a speech, in his head, a powerful plea for Toothless to listen to reason and to understand that all the bad feelings, every one of them, was natural and that they could work through them together—

\--but it was all too much, and instead, Hiccup sat up, looked at the taut line of his partner’s back, and began to cry.

Great wracking sobs overtook him immediately, heaving and uncontrollable. This was the violent, earth-shaking mourning he had not been able to do before. He was a leader first, and even the warrior’s burial had to be stoic and solemn to the last. He had set fire to the Chief’s burial pyre, but in his heart, he had not yet buried his father. These tears, now, were for the man who held him as a boy, who cuffed him on the head when he was reckless and whose scarred palms held his hands as he learned to wield an axe. Hiccup cried for all the terrible pancakes he used to try to make in the spring, and for the way the man danced and held his mother. He missed Stoick, he missed his dad, so, so much.

He could no longer get himself under control, but tried anyway. He tried to reach for Toothless, but then Toothless was there, at his side again, wrapped around him. Toothless held him under his wing and with his whole body, the way he did when he would catch Hiccup when he fell, the way he crouched over him in the wake of the second Bewilderbeast’s ice.

Hiccup felt the wetness on his face, knew he was hiccupping and his nose was running, that his face was a mess and his stomach hurt from heaving, but he couldn’t stop. He tried to speak. ”I—I—just—miss—him.” Toothless let out a strangled sound, the beginning of a howl, cut off, but the dragon’s great body trembled again as it had when Hiccup first came upon him. “It’s okay—to—miss him—too.”

That was the end of it. Toothless threw back his head and roared a shattering, piercing howl of absolute sorrow to the heavens. Hiccup felt he may have echoed it.

Then Toothless’ head was down, shoved into Hiccup’s side, his shoulder, burying himself in Hiccup’s outstretched arms even as Hiccup hid his face in the dragon’s warm neck-scales. They held each other as Toothless moaned and Hiccup sobbed, mourning, finally, all the helplessness and terror they suffered without the other one there. They hid in each other even as they protected their partner with their own bodies.

The sun was completely gone before they began to recover. Hiccup shivered in the cold sea air, feeling hollow and stiff around the eyes. From the way Toothless sagged against him, giving up some of his powerful bulk, the dragon felt the same.

Hiccup pressed his lips to a sensitive spot behind the dragon’s jaw. Toothless could never quite get the hang of the human custom of touching lips, but he appreciated Hiccup’s tactility, and Hiccup appreciated the reactions and comfort he could afford both of them when he kissed the right spots.

Now, all he wanted was to be near his partner, surround himself in Toothless’ scent and feel of his scales. They would need to talk tomorrow, and Hiccup had so much he needed to say, but they were exhausted and tonight, they just needed each other.

 _Closer?_ Toothless asked, pleaded, reading Hiccup’s thoughts.

If Hiccup let out a sound that was more whimper than assent, it wasn’t dwelt upon. He was struggling out of his dirt and blood and debris-coated tunic and armor as fast as he could manage, growing more manic about it by the moment as he realized just how constricted and _dirty_ he felt with it on. There was some unnamed grime of tragedy that clung to his clothes.

 _Slow_ , cautioned Toothless, noticing—of course he noticed. Hiccup felt the dragon’s snort, the soft bump of his snout against Hiccup’s abdomen in gentle remonstrance.

 _Want_ , argued Hiccup, chattering in Dragonese. _Off, clean—clothes are dirty, they feel—_ his grasp of the language escaped him, but soon he was bare to the waist and it didn’t matter anymore. What he wanted was to be just a little closer, to have something to look back on in the weeks to come that, when he thought of this moment of destruction and death, of Drago and of his father, he would have one bright spot of what came _after_ , and could focus on the comfort rather than the cold.

Toothless drew him under his wing again, blanketing Hiccup gently in them and trapping him against the dragon’s warm body. _Safe,_ Toothless huffed gently. Hiccup saw the change in the dragon, the way Toothless shifted from his own misery to comforting his partner, just because he saw how much Hiccup still needed him, even after their short catharsis. Hiccup didn’t often allow himself to show intense emotion—even his own frustration was kept between the two of them, high in the air, where no one else could see. This incredible outpouring so close to all those who needed and watched him, who called him chief, left Hiccup feeling vulnerable and Toothless _knew_.

 _We are safe_ , Toothless promised again, and for a moment, they lay together in the grass, both on their sides, Hiccup pressed up against Toothless’ chest where he often found himself after being jerked out of a disastrous dive and protected from impact. And here Toothless was again, shielding him, even for a moment.

Hiccup shivered, caught between the cool grass beneath him and the soft warmth on all sides, feeling Toothless breathe into his hair. “Toothless, I—“

 _We,_ Toothless said shrewdly, whistling the sound for Hiccup-and-Toothless-together, _We need another thing_.

“Yeah,” Hiccup breathed, grateful beyond words that Toothless _knew_. “Can I?”

Toothless rumbled a gentle affirmative, tinged with a single tail-swing of encouragement. He rolled a little further onto his back, as far as his furled wings would allow. Hiccup felt a small, unexpected smile on his lips, and he rolled to his knees to move down Toothless’ chest. He ran his hands, work-worn from the day, down the abdominal bands of tough scales and leathery skin, until he reached the juncture of Toothless’ back hips. Hiccup rested his head on Toothless’ thigh, staring up at his partner’s face as he smoothed his fingers over the genital slit that was already beginning to part in anticipation.

It had been almost one year since Hiccup’s first seduction on the sea-stack, and since then they had come back together at every opportunity. Maybe they weren’t the most discrete about it, but they did try. Hiccup had a feeling the other humans knew something had changed between him and Toothless, even if no one would put voice to their suspicions. The dragons knew, could scent it on them and taste it in the air. A few had been horrified—Stormfly especially, as she _worried_ for Hiccup—but for dragons, their concern was a resistance to something they did not understand, rather than any particular prejudice. And after Hiccup had had a long, particularly awkward conversation with Stormfly in faltering Dragonese, she too had conceded.

This all was to say that Hiccup was no stranger to how to arouse Toothless, even if he was sometimes known to abuse that power, just a little. Hiccup knew what he wanted, now, and as Toothless’ hemipenes dropped from their encasement, he wasted no time, making sure Toothless was watching him before taking the lower shaft into his mouth.

Dragon shafts were not _so_ big, although somewhat larger than a well-hung human. Hiccup could take the majority of it down his throat if he had time and patience, and had spent many long and frustratingly pleasurable afternoons _experimenting_ on how best to do so. Now, however, his goals were much less scientific and much more single-minded. Toothless’ contented sigh, edged just slightly with tension, was enough for him now.

He pulled back from the lower hemipene to lick across it, taking in the musky scent and the strange, oily texture of Toothless’ natural slick that offered some small lubrication. The headiness of the smell and taste almost brought tears to Hiccup’s eyes once more, because the scent was something he had craved so _much_. He was not sure he could have explained it, but just knowing that he could be with his partner like this, the happiness they could both share, was a balm for the worst of his exposed and raw nerves. With his other hand, he slowly stroked the neglected upper shaft. Toothless’ groan vibrated through his bones and across Hiccup’s body.

He was prepared when the dragon’s patience was stripped away in only a few moments. They were both exhausted, and not able to hold off for long. Toothless flipped them both quickly but with his infinite care, following Hiccup down as Hiccup lay on his back in the grass, slick hands now petting at whatever vulnerable parts of Toothless’ neck and chest he could reach. He shifted his hips up into Toothless’, the cradle of his hipbones nestling the Toothless’ own cocks. Hiccup felt the slick slip of his partner’s organs against his, the heat of shared pleasure and the way they moved against each other, in sync as they had always been, focused on the same goal.

Toothless thrust against Hiccup’s hips, knowing this was Hiccup’s favorite position. Hiccup knew there were easier ways to take Toothless, whether they penetrated or not, but he didn’t care. It was the contrast between Toothless’ infinite care and the fact that he could, if he wanted, hurt Hiccup so _much_. Toothless’ unsheathed fangs were only inches from Hiccup’s exposed skin, but instead the dragon only nosed gently at Hiccup’s collarbone, running his snout up under Hiccup’s jaw, licking warmly at the skin there that pulsed with a frantic heartbeat. It was the fact that he could feel Toothless above him, all of the amazing, unrestrained power, but Hiccup could still look up and see nothing but love and, if he was doing it right, frantic need in his partner’s eyes.

The friction, too, was delicious, offset just the right amount by the combination of human precome and draconic slick. This is what Hiccup had needed, right here, the movement of their bodies together and the feeling of being both completely overwhelmed and completely contained by Toothless’ bulk and his care.

Toothless shuddered above him as Hiccup reached up and dug his fingers into a sensitive spot at the junction of Toothless’ neck and shoulders, a place where a mate might bite when rutting and what contained a dragon’s scent glands and the delicate fire-producing organs. It was hardwired to be both the most vulnerable and pleasurable spot in a dragon’s body, and that was knowledge Hiccup exploited ruthlessly. Toothless had just enough presence of mind to make a half-scolding sound for using such a dirty trick before he could no longer hold back a whine and a growl of completion as he came in a messy shudder against his partner’s warm and shaking body. Toothless could not help thrusting through it, which triggered Hiccup’s own orgasm, and the Viking clutched Toothless’ forelegs as he grunted and came.

Toothless’ joins felt unresponsive and he lowered himself to the ground so that most of his weight was on the grass and not his partner, although he did rest his head across Hiccup’s chest, just to feel the way Hiccup’s sensitive body shuddered with every heartbeat and every aftershock. Toothless’ eyes lidded in contentment as he stared into Hiccup’s flushed face. It had been strange, and first, to see the way humans changed color subtly to reflect their moods, but this flush meant only that Toothless had pleased his partner, and it was gratifying.

It took a long time for Hiccup’s body temperature to regulate and the panting to even out. Toothless waited patiently for Hiccup to come back to himself. He relaxed the tension he didn’t realize he was holding when Hiccup wound unsteady arms around his neck, running lazy fingers against the tips of his ear frills.

“Thank you, bud,” Hiccup said in a low voice.

Toothless snorted. _Not thanking. We are We. We are happy. No gratitude, except for that we are together._

“Yeah. I am grateful for that, too,” Hiccup murmured. “I don’t think I could have—“ he shrugged, trying to seem unaffected, but there was nothing about Hiccup’s voice or body that could carry a lie to Toothless. He knew. “You and me together. That’s the only way this works.” Hiccup gestured vaguely, taking in the cliffs and the ocean and, by proxy, Berk, just out of sight.

 _Come, sleep now. Rebuilding more tomorrow,_ Toothless coaxed Hiccup, getting to his feet and nosing his partner until Hiccup sat up. Hiccup didn’t bother retrieving his clothes, instead rummaging through the saddle bags on Toothless’ back and retrieving the blanket there.

They settled easily into their customary sleeping position, Hiccup hooked between Toothless’ front foreleg and his shoulder, Toothless’ muzzle against Hiccup’s thigh, and his wings covering them both.

Even blissed out and exhausted, however, Hiccup could not resist one more entreaty.

“I know you, Toothless, every part of you. You cannot help what you feel and every bit of that, the things you do and the things you feel, bad and good, make up who you are. _We_.” He popped the sound in Draconic. “You are _We_ , and you cannot be ashamed of what you are, because it’s not just you any longer.”

Toothless stiffened when Hiccup began speaking, but as he listened to the words Hiccup said, he let out a deep sigh, giving up just a little more of his weight against his partner and curling just a little tighter. He could never take for granted that the human was a part of him, buried deep in his heart and knowing everything about him; nor should he ever forgotten it. They had spent an afternoon grieving alone when they could have done so stronger and together.

Toothless vowed never to make that mistake again. He hitched Hiccup closer, and Hiccup nuzzled in, finally giving in to the insistent pull of bone-deep weariness.

Toothless fell with Hiccup and followed him down. He always would.

 

 


End file.
